Most of us have encountered life events that create grief. Perhaps it was the death of a loved one, loss of a job, end of a relationship, deteriorating health, or another life challenge. A WebMD survey conducted in 2019 found that 72% of the respondents said they had experienced grief over a life event in the past three years. And since 2019, the pandemic amplified the level of grief experienced worldwide. 

In her 1969 book On Death and Dying, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the five stages of grief people experience on the path to recovery: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages are not necessarily linear. You can experience more than one at a time, or go back and forth between them, particularly if an event triggers you back to an earlier stage.

How long does recovery from grief typically take? In the WebMD survey highlighted above, nearly half of respondents said their most powerful feelings subsided within six months, and two-thirds indicated they had recovered within a year. But some people get stuck in grief, leaving scars that linger for years or a lifetime.

The good news is that you can take action to promote recovery. Seeking professional help from a qualified practitioner, particularly for severe grief, can be an important first step. Many practitioners are available online or in person using a variety of techniques to shepherd you through the stages of grief. Teaching professionals often have interns who charge minimal amounts.

You can also take action on your own. We recommend Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) or tapping. EFT involves tapping on body pressure points to get release from negative emotions. It’s a fast, easy, and proven method, and there are many sites on the internet and YouTube that show its use. Gary Craig, the founder of EFT, demonstrates EFT on the following video: The EFT Basic Recipe by Founder Gary Craig  

Holly and Bill have worked extensively with EFT for grief created by loss and trauma. We have examples to share of its effectiveness, but to maintain anonymity, we have changed the details. Holly worked with a woman who had lost her child. For over ten years she sat on her sofa isolated, depressed, and nonfunctional, doing little but watching TV. After one session of EFT, her grief cycle was broken, and the next week she started a job search, embarking on a new and rewarding phase of life.

In another case, Holly worked with a man who felt guilt his entire life. He was always apologizing, but didn’t know why. EFT helped him remember a key aspect of a tragic incident in his childhood. He recalled that when his brother was hit and killed by a car, he—only a boy then—hid in his closet, taking on the trauma and guilt over his brother’s death. With time, he forgot about his reaction, but his buried grief and guilt unconsciously affected his life.

Sometimes it takes several sessions of EFT to gain results, since it could involve peeling off layers, such as multiple incidents that caused or re-triggered grief. Bill worked with a man who had lost his wife a few years ago. The man grieved for about a year but successfully worked through the stages of grief to reach acceptance. When the pandemic struck, he found that without a partner, the sudden isolation of sheltering in place re-triggered the grief over his wife’s death. Daily sessions of EFT for a week helped him break his grief cycle again.

Grief, when left untreated, can stay with a person for a lifetime. We both had parents who never fully healed from their World War Two traumas. Holly’s father was the only soldier to survive in battle when a grenade hit his unit. Bill’s mother was just one of two girls in a large group who survived the bombing of the railroad station in Dresden, Germany. Both of their parents suffered from lifelong survivor’s guilt.

So, we are gratified to expose you to the powerful tool of EFT and the professional help available online or in-person to aid with grief. Other self-care tools are also available, such as meditation, mindfulness, exercise, and creative expression.  

If you have questions or comments, please reach out to Holly via her website at holly@hypnotherapytraining.com or Bill at billyarborough3@gmail.com

Dr. Holly Holmes-Meredith, D. Min., MFT, Board Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, and Bill Yarborough, CHT, and Certified EFT Practitioner.

This article first appeared in the September 2020 Diablo Gazette.

But past life regression does not necessarily mean you’ve actually lived previous lives. There are various working theories of what occurs when people experience a past life in hypnotherapy. Whatever the theory, the interesting part is that past life regressions can provide therapeutic benefits beyond the novelty of recalling a past life. Here are several theories explaining past lives:

• Your subconscious records historical information from books, conversations, movies, lectures, and other sources. These facts emerge from your subconscious in hypnosis, and you interpret them as a past life.
• Your imagination creates past life experiences the same way that your imagination creates dreams. Proponents of this theory believe you can work with past life experiences the same way you can work with dreams, gleaning important patterns and insights for your current life.
• Your past lives represent archetypes or metaphors. The archetypes you embodied in past lives can help you work with life roles and core issues occurring in your present life. For instance, if you’re driven to fight for the underdog or underprivileged, you may recall past lives as a benevolent leader or revolutionary. The overlaying of archetypes of past lives could help you spot present-life weaknesses and strengths.
• Your past lives are the consequence of reincarnation. This is the most popular and widely accepted theory of past lives. Most major world religions, including early Christianity, believe the soul is reborn into multiple lives to work through lessons and grow in consciousness. This cycle continues until there is an experience of enlightenment or a remembering we are divine and an expression of God, the Tao, the creator, or other ultimate source.

With these different theories of past life memories, you do not have to believe in reincarnation, or even in past lives, to gain benefits from past life therapy in this lifetime.

Past life regression has proven effective for many kinds of issues that people work through in therapy, such as phobias, relationship problems, feeling stuck in patterns, questions of life purpose, grief, and loss, death and dying, physical issues, and illness.

The following examples show how past life regression has provided therapeutic benefits. To maintain anonymity, we’ve changed certain details.

Holly worked with a woman who was the only member of her family never to enter the ocean during their Hawaiian vacations. From a young age, she was terrified of water. During a past life regression, she remembered being drowned as a witch during the Middle Ages. After the regression, she realized her fear had nothing to do with her current life and was able to overcome it.

Bill knew a young woman who was always the life of the party and unable to slow down. During a past life regression, Bill recalled a past life where both the woman and he were monks living a cerebral life divorced from the outside world. He suspected the woman’s present choices were influenced by the maxim, “been there, done that, try something new!” As it turned out, she too independently recalled the life of a monk and started to bring more balance into her life. Another interesting aspect of regression work is that we tend to have “traveled” in earlier lives with people we’re connected to in this life.

These examples hint at spiritual effects from past life regression, particularly when you recall multiple past lives. As you reflect on various lives, you may see how actions taken in one life can have a cause and effect on other lives. In short, you reap what you sow. Such a broader perspective can create an awareness that you’re creating lessons through different lives to provide opportunities for spiritual growth. You may come to see you are not just your body, or an individual preoccupied with your own wellbeing, but comprehend something greater—a sense of oneness and understanding that life is for loving, learning, and conscious evolution.

In line with biology and physics, the following additional past life regression theories can also lead to an expanded world view and feelings of connectedness:

• Your past life experiences tap into your DNA and the genetic memory of your ancestor’s lifetime. In the western Newtonian “show me” culture, this genetic theory of past lives is popular with some regression therapists.
• Your past lives tap into the quantum field. Within the realm of quantum theory, some believe that you are one and part of a unified field. Since there is no time or space in quantum reality, all past lives are happening simultaneously as parallel lives.

If you are interested in experiencing a past life regression, you can choose a self-guided process available on CDs—although the skill and guidance of a well-trained regression therapist are recommended.

The International Board for Regression Therapy’s website at IBRT.org lists good choices for regression therapists. A well-trained regression therapist uses non-directive language and asks open-ended questions to make sure the client is generating their own past life content uninfluenced by the therapist.

If you have questions or comments, please reach out to Holly via her website at holly@hypnotherapytraining.com or Bill at billyarborough3@gmail.com

Dr. Holly Holmes-Meredith, D. Min., MFT, Board Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, and Bill Yarborough, CHT, and Certified EFT Practitioner.

This article first appeared in the December 2021 Diablo Gazette.

Rumi said it best: “Wear gratitude like a cloak, and it will feed every corner of your life.” The wisdom that gratitude provides many benefits is not new; even the beloved 13th-century Persian poet knew it. Rumi just lacked scientific research and an MRI to prove it. Rumi is not the only historic figure to praise gratitude.

Research on the influence of gratitude is extensive. Much has been published about its benefits for psychological and physical health. For example, scientific findings have found the practice of gratitude can reduce many toxic emotions, ranging from envy and resentment to frustration and regret. Similarly, researchers confirmed that gratitude can reduce depression and increase happiness. Even MRI scans show gratitude may have a lasting positive effect on the brain.

Other studies have found gratitude to be more successful than other psychological therapies and healing techniques. In one study, more than 400 individuals were tested on the impact of various therapeutic interventions. The individuals were asked to write and personally deliver a letter of gratitude to someone they hadn’t thanked for a kindness. When they did so, the individuals immediately experienced a huge increase in their happiness scores, greater than all other psychological interventions in the study. Another study linked maintaining an evening gratitude journal to longer and better sleep.

The healing power of gratitude also extends to overcoming trauma. For example, Vietnam War veterans practicing higher levels of gratitude were found to experience lower rates of post-traumatic stress disorder. Grateful people generally experience fewer aches and pains and report feeling healthier than others do.

So how do you cultivate this miraculous “cure-all” called gratitude? Here are a few suggestions to follow:

Write a thank-you note. You can nurture your relationship with other people by writing a thank-you letter, expressing your enjoyment and appreciation of that person’s impact on your life. Send it to them, or better yet, deliver and read it in person if possible. Make a habit of sending at least one gratitude letter a month. You can occasionally write one to yourself.

No time to write? Thank someone mentally. It may help to think of somebody who has done something nice for you and mentally thank the individual.

Keep a gratitude journal. Make a habit of writing down or sharing thoughts about the gifts you have received each day.

Count your blessings. Pick a time every week to list your blessings, reflecting on the things that went right for which you feel gratitude. It helps to pick a number, such as three to five things you plan to identify each week. As you write, be specific and think of the sensations you felt when something positive happened.

Pray. People who are religious can use prayer to cultivate gratitude.

Meditate. Mindfulness meditation involves focusing on the present moment without judgment. Although people often focus on a word or phrase (such as ”peace”), why not focus on what you are grateful for, such as the warmth of the sun or a pleasant sound?

Through gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives. In the process, they usually recognize that the source of goodness lies at least partially outside themselves. As a result, gratitude helps people connect to something larger than themselves, such as other people, nature, or a higher power.

Like the great sage Willie Nelson said: “When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.”

For significant mental issues, seeking professional help from a qualified practitioner is an important first step. Many practitioners are available online or in person using a variety of techniques to shepherd you through your challenges. Teaching professionals often have interns who charge minimal amounts.

If you have questions or comments, please reach out to Holly via her website at holly@hypnotherapytraining.com or Bill at billyarborough3@gmail.com

By Dr. Holly Holmes-Meredith, D. Min., MFT, Board Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and Bill Yarborough, CHT, and Certified EFT Practitioner. This article first appeared in the May 2021 July Diablo Gazette.

Do you have any exaggerated emotional tendencies that puzzle you? Perhaps you fly off the handle whenever a car cuts in front of you or freeze up around assertive personalities or fear your partner will desert you.

Sometimes you can make reasonable assumptions about what causes such emotional reactions, either on your own or with the help of a healing professional. Regarding the exaggerated tendencies highlighted above, traumatic experiences could be a contributing factor, such as people violating your boundaries as a child, bullies picking on you in school, or your experiencing abandonment issues early in life. But sometimes there may be no apparent life experiences that created your exaggerated emotional reactions.

It could lead you to conclude that you were just born that way—and recent advances in epigenetics indicate you might be right.

Epigenetics is the study of changes in organisms caused by a modification of gene expression rather than an alteration of the genetic code itself. Recent epigenetics studies show trauma can change the expression of the DNA in our cells, and these changes are passed down from our parents and previous generations to us—just as we pass them down to our children and generations beyond. There is also evidence that we can inherit memories of trauma in our bodies.

DNA expression is not the only form through which trauma or other dysfunctional family patterns go from one generation to the next. Dysfunctional family patterns are often passed down through behavior, language, programming routines, family rituals and many other forms. Often we are unconscious of these patterns, many of which developed during our parents, grandparents and forebears’ lives.

A simple overview of history tells us that many of our parents, grandparents and family ancestors experienced considerable trauma, including wars, pandemics, slavery, genocide, economic turbulence, homelessness and countless others. It would be naive to think none of our ancestors experienced trauma.

How do you break this generational cycle?

The first and most important step is to heal yourself. When you heal trauma and/or dysfunctional patterns within yourself, you heal generations in the future, preventing the passing of trauma by genetics and/or destructive behaviors. The personal transformations that result from this can allow future generations to overcome the limitations of the current and previous generations. In certain native shamanic traditions, it is believed that healing yourself heals seven generations in the future—and seven generations in the past.

If you believe you are struggling with issues that could relate to your ancestral history, look for reoccurring patterns in your family and ancestors that are dysfunctional, such as abandonment, drug or alcohol abuse, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, poverty, or other disabling patterns. Are there any of these patterns you are experiencing or possibly perpetuating, either consciously or unconsciously?

Bill experienced significant trauma during a period in his childhood and used a range of therapeutic tools to heal. However, when he looked beyond the traumas in his own life, he realized there was significant trauma in his family history. His mother was raised in Nazi Germany, and experienced the bombing of Dresden. His father fought in two wars and worked for the American War Crimes staff, interviewing perpetrators operating the Nazi death camps. Bill’s grandparents and great-grandparents likewise experienced wars and other major upheavals. Bill is now addressing ancestral traumas in addition to those that occurred during his own life.

If you find ancestral patterns or behaviors within you that are beyond what you can handle, consider professional help. Professional practitioners are available online or in person. Teaching professionals often have interns who charge minimal amounts.

A professional practitioner can use hypnotherapy, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT or tapping), Reiki, self-hypnosis, and many other modalities to help you heal. EFT is an energetic healing approach that involves tapping on pressure points on the body to get release from negative emotions or traumas. Reiki is a hands-on, energetic healing technique that can create deep relaxation to help the body release stress and trauma. Hypnotherapy and self-hypnosis may provide you with an opportunity to connect with your ancestors. For example, in Family Parts Therapy, you can go into a hypnotic state and visualize healing dialogues with your parents and other ancestors.

Several of the above healing techniques can be learned and practiced on your own, such as EFT, self-hypnosis, and Reiki. You can learn more about these techniques from resources online and from healing professionals who can help you work with ancestral healing.  

You can also embark on an inner journey using prayer, meditation, yoga, mindfulness, and journaling to create an inner peace your current lifestyle may not provide. Such practices can lead to greater mental clarity, allowing you to better recognize habits to keep, discard, or start. Such explorations can create a heightened sense of well-being and a powerful determination to continue on a path of transformation, supporting you in rising above hardships, and connecting you with a power greater than yourself.

When you take steps to heal yourself, you are also taking steps to heal future generations of your family and maybe your broader culture. In doing so, you could play a part in a possible global transformation.

If you have questions or comments, please reach out to Holly via her website at holly@hypnotherapytraining.com or Bill at billyarborough3@gmail.com

Dr. Holly Holmes-Meredith, D. Min., MFT, Board Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, and Bill Yarborough, CHT and Certified EFT Practitioner.

This article first appeared in the July 2022 Diablo Gazette.

Have you seen a Hollywood movie or TV show where a hypnotist gets someone to cluck like a chicken or perform another embarrassing act? Such stunts have caused hypnotherapy to be misunderstood for years, triggering many to avoid it entirely.

Hypnotherapy is not what the entertainment industry has “hypnotized” its audiences to believe. We know that because we’ve facilitated hypnotherapy sessions (Holly over 20,000) and taken part in hypnosis for life-changing, healing journeys.

So, sit comfortably, take a deep breath, and allow us to teach you what hypnotherapy really is…

You have actually already experienced the hypnotic state many times. Are you sometimes unresponsive when asked a question while absorbed in a captivating book? Do you easily lose track of time when you are sitting at your computer playing games? Or do you fall into “highway hypnosis, “a state of consciousness experienced when driving long distances where you daydream and forget crossing a familiar bridge or going through a tunnel? If so, you’ve spontaneously experienced the non-ordinary state of consciousness called hypnosis.

Hypnosis is natural. It’s the state we experience between waking and sleeping.

All hypnosis is a self-trance. Contrary to what most people believe, in hypnosis you use your own free will, choosing how to respond to suggestions. The “inner hypnotist” is the part of you that says, “I can and will allow myself to relax.” Since you are free to decide, you will respond only when and how you want to respond.

The ability to be hypnotized is not gullibility. In fact, the ability to be hypnotized points to a higher-than-normal capacity to engage in creativity and to act as the “captain of your own ship,” in control of your body, mind and emotions. In essence, you gain freedom from the hidden whims of your subconscious.

Hypnotherapy has many benefits. It’s a guided meditation that can help you overcome addictions, lose weight, lower anxiety, learn new skills, address childhood traumas, and improve your relationships.

In a hypnotic state, you are more resourceful because you gain access to additional dimensions and levels of consciousness. You experience yourself beyond your normal waking thoughts, beliefs and feelings by gaining insight into your subconscious and super-conscious self. It also helps you overcome the censorship of your critical mind. By using hypnosis, you can retrieve long-forgotten memories, promote self-healing, control pain, and become more intuitive. You can also enhance receptivity to positive suggestions that promote desired change.

What follows are examples of hypnotherapy effectiveness. To maintain anonymity, we’ve changed the details. Holly worked with a woman with symptoms of burnout, stemming from an excessive desire to take care of others and unsatisfying relationships where she didn’t get her needs met. When she was a girl and teenager, her single mother expected her to care for her siblings, leaving little or no time for play.

Using hypnotherapy, Holly and the woman did inner child work where the woman re-parented or re-imagined childhood experiences in which she could also live out her role as a child, freeing her from childhood patterns and perceptions that kept disrupting her life.

Bill used a hypnotic practice called skill rehearsal when he took on a role requiring ceremonial and speaking duties in a public forum that was new to him. Apprehensive that he would make mistakes given his inexperience, he created a hypnotic recording using his voice, allowing him to memorize and perform his duties in a calm and confident manner.

In most hypnotic states, you are relaxed, and when you return to wakeful consciousness, you feel refreshed and renewed. After a hypnotherapy session, you are likely to reflect on what you experienced, enjoying the positive effects of the insights you’ve gained. These positive effects often become part of your daily awareness, releasing distressing energy patterns that keep getting activated and replayed in your life.

Hypnotherapy is a powerful tool that has helped many address a wide range of challenges. If you would like to seek professional help from a qualified hypnotherapist, it’s important to choose someone with whom you feel comfortable. A well-trained hypnotherapist will have flexibility in their approach so they can match their client’s needs and responses.

You should also ask about a hypnotherapist’s credentials. Are they also licensed to provide counseling or psychotherapy? Many hypnotherapists are available online or in person. Teaching professionals often have interns who charge minimal amounts.

If you have questions or comments, please reach out to Holly via her website at holly@hypnotherapytraining.com or Bill at billyarborough3@gmail.com

By Dr. Holly Holmes-Meredith, D. Min., MFT, Board Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and Bill Yarborough, CHT and Certified EFT Practitioner.

This article first appeared in the May 2021 July Diablo Gazette.

All of us have fears and phobias in our lives that hold us back. What would your life be like if you could wash them away?

Some of your fears could interfere with your effectiveness at work. For example, you may fear public speaking. In an article by Lisa Fritscher in Very Well Mind, she states some experts estimate that as much as 77% of the population have some level of anxiety regarding public speaking.

Other fears might include the fear of taking risks, making sales calls, confronting controversial issues, adjusting to change, or learning new technologies. Your personal life could also be hampered by such traits as a fear of intimacy, unease in social gatherings, a phobia of driving in traffic, or a terror of spiders. Sadly, the list of fears and phobias is endless.

So, what would your life be like if you could wash away such fears and phobias with a fast, easy, and proven method? Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) or tapping can provide you with such a potent skill. EFT involves tapping on body pressure points to get a release from negative emotions.

It begins by naming your fear, leaning into its emotional charge, and giving it a numerical value measuring intensity. Next, make a statement of self-acceptance or love as you tap on the side of your hand. Then, continue to name your fear while you tap on various spots on your face and upper body. Once done, look for any change or reduction in your fear level. If your fear remains elevated, then repeat as necessary. EFT is easy to use, with many sites on the internet and YouTube demonstrating its use, such as Tapping Solutions Bing Videos

Holly and Bill have worked extensively with EFT to reduce or eliminate fears and phobias. Holly has two good examples, but to maintain client anonymity, we have changed the details. She worked with a teenage girl who had a fear of heights. The prospect of walking onto the second-floor balcony of Holly’s office filled the girl with a paralyzing dread, but after one session of tapping, her phobia dissipated, and she gleefully walked onto Holly’s balcony and leaned over the railing to gaze at the shrubs below.

Similarly, Holly worked with a young boy who was frightened by the sound of the wind. He couldn’t sleep at night when high winds howled against the eaves of his house. After a session of EFT, Holly played a CD recording of the sound of wind, and the boy experienced no reaction. In both cases, these transformations turned out to be permanent.

But sometimes it will take several sessions to eliminate or reduce a fear or phobia. That is because it may involve several aspects or layers. Bill had a fear of doing verbal presentations at work. He used EFT in therapeutic sessions and on his own. Multiple sessions were needed over time to fully ease his fear, since it involved peeling off several layers, such as a fear of authority and controversy, which ultimately pointed to traumatic childhood experiences at the core. By persisting in using EFT to treat his fear of presentations, Bill turned what his superiors considered a weakness into a strength. He also gained a significant additional benefit. As he tapped on his fear issues, his acid reflux symptoms subsided, allowing him to abandon his medication.

EFT is an energetic healing approach, and multidimensional energy systems build on each other. If you work on one emotional issue, it may help with something else, such as another emotional or physical limitation.

As powerful as EFT is in addressing fears and phobias, it is also an excellent tool to use for a variety of other emotional health issues. Mind-body medicine pioneer Dawson Church, Ph.D., author of a topical book titled “Mind to Matter,” sat down with Dave Asprey for a Bulletproof Radio podcast interview to talk about tapping and the field of energy psychology. During the interview, Dawson said, “Among the myriad afflictions tapping helps with are: anxiety, depression, addiction, pain, PTSD and phobias. It’s even shown promise for mastering your athletic performance.”

EFT, or tapping, is safe to practice on your own, but if you have significant psychological issues, you should consider professional help from a qualified practitioner. A practitioner can be particularly helpful in peeling off the layers of emotional issues.

If you have questions or comments, please reach out to Holly via her website at Holly@hypnotherapytraining.com or Bill at billyarborough3@gmail.com

By Dr. Holly Holmes-Meredith, D. Min., MFT, Board Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and Bill Yarborough, CHT and Certified EFT Practitioner.

This article first appeared in the August 2020 Diablo Gazette.

Bill Yarborough of Clayton has lived a successful adult life, working for a large public accounting firm and then in the financial industry. He has served as president for two non-profits and is currently focused on his first novel in a series. Although fiction, it is inspired by real-life experiences, which are far from normal.

In the September, October, and November issues of the Diablo Gazette, Bill recalled his time as a young child, age four, in what he concluded was the CIA’s notorious MK-ULTRA program, an experience he endured with his younger brother and older sister. He also described the startling manner in which their repressed memories arose, his subsequent healing journey, and his heartfelt memories of the Mexican boy from a shamanic tribe who helped Bill survive his traumatic experiences while in the program.

MK-ULTRA was a secret mind control program operated by the CIA in the 1950s and early 1960s. In December 1974, The New York Times exposed illegal CIA activities, kicking off a wave of government and journalistic investigations that ultimately uncovered MK-ULTRA.

The clandestine program experimented on adults, college students, and children. It took 30 years before Bill and his brother and sister cracked open the Pandora’s box of repressed memories, an awakening that began in the 1980s. In this article, Bill shares more shocking details about his MK-ULTRA experiences and the therapeutic impact of his writing journey.

One question I’ve struggled with is why the MK-ULTRA project I experienced (there were 149 separate MK-ULTRA subprojects) was so brutal with a concentration camp-like atmosphere. As highlighted in earlier articles, I recall the program included electroshock, drugs, deprivation, isolation, psychological assault, and other ordeals. I’ve also wondered why my brother, sister, and I were placed in MK-ULTRA.

Stephen Kinzer’s recent book Poisoner in Chief  helped shed light on those questions. His book—featured by The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and NPR’s  Fresh Air —exposes the shadowy life of Sidney Gottlieb, who headed MK-ULTRA. Kinzer spells out how Operation Paperclip identified Nazi war criminals with biological weapons, mind control, and other expertise to help America win the Cold War. They brought a number of individuals with mind control experience to the United States to ultimately work on the MK-ULTRA program. Some of them had conducted horrific experiments on human subjects in the concentration camps during the war. But those war crimes were overlooked to garner their expertise.

My father worked in the War Crimes Branch of the US Army where he interviewed Nazis SS officers running the Dachau concentration camp. My father shielded this experience from my brother, sister, and me for years. I knew he fought in the US Army during World War II and met my German mother after the war ended. I knew they were married in Germany before returning to the United States. But one day in my thirties, I noticed my parents were married in 1947. I asked my mother, “What was Dad doing in Germany two years after the war?”

“Oh, he worked on the War Crimes Branch both in Dachau and Nuremberg.”

Stunned, I quizzed my father about his experience, but it was clear he didn’t want to discuss it. When I pressed my mother on what specifically he did, her answers were vague. “He worked for both the prosecution and defense,” she said, reluctant to offer specifics. Of course, I understand his experiences interviewing perpetrators of war crimes would have been highly distressing and maybe accounted for his reluctance to talk. But I can’t but help wonder if my father was used by Operation Paperclip to find potential mind control experts for the CIA.

Kinzer’s book points out that a lot of MK-ULTRA activity centered in Maryland, where we lived as young children. My father may have re-encountered individuals in Maryland he met during his war crimes work—leading us into the MK-ULTRA program.

As I mentioned in a previous article, my father displayed aspects of a split personality when I confronted him with our memories of mind control experiments. His primary personality—the one I knew—claimed ignorance while another personality—one I hadn’t encountered before—arose and displayed knowledge of the program and defended the people who ran it. One aim of MK-ULTRA was to program agents carrying out sensitive assignments from divulging secrets. Since a part of my father seemed aware of the mind control program while his primary personality did not, I’ve wondered if my father was a victim of such programming.

In the last article, I discussed the various techniques I’ve used to heal from my childhood traumas. One I did not discuss is how writing has provided a valuable cathartic effect. My interest in writing began immediately after my brother had his psychotic breakdown at age 23. I experienced significant anguish over his plight—we were very close—and plunged into creative writing, mostly horror short stories, to escape my depressed state of mind.

I came to realize later that comments my brother made during his psychotic episode related to our repressed memories. And I believe some of those repressed memories influenced my writing—in that they often pointed to buried secrets in my character’s lives. I rewrote a long-ago short story of mine named “Night Mother,” which was recently published in an anthology of horror short stories:

Several years after my short story endeavors, I began to write MEMORIES OF MK-ULTRA, a novel inspired by my true-life experiences. It took considerable time to write since I edited and re-edited it while engaged in a full-time job, an active family life, and significant non-profit commitments. But like psychotherapy and energetic healing, writing helped me sort out and process my experiences.

Although my brother, sister, and I recalled most of our repressed memories on our own, several arose as a result of therapy sessions. In the last article, I recounted how the memory of the Mexican boy surfaced after a week of intensive therapy sessions with my Texas therapist. I had similar experiences with my California therapist.

Occasionally, my therapy and writing endeavors intersected. My wife said there was a gap at the opening of my novel. “You don’t show the kids entering the MK-ULTRA program. They just appear there.” I told her I’d never remembered our arrival. Deep down, I wanted to know how we arrived, so I asked my therapist to conduct a hypnotherapy session.

During that session, a memory arose of riding in a car down a long driveway lined with trees toward a large house. When we arrived at its door, strangers dragged me inside and into a basement where they locked me in a jail cell.

Another question I get is why did I write a novel rather than a memoir? I did so because of my young age in the program and the nature of repressed memories coming to the surface 30 years later. Also, our memories often came to my brother, sister, and me differently—mine, while consciously awake, my sister, while dreaming, and my brother, while in what our Texas therapist called altered states of consciousness. However, our recollections were typically the same. Repressed memories can be fuzzy, though, and I couldn’t write in confidence that my recollections were fully accurate. I feared I’d be second-guessing myself with a memoir and chose to write a novel inspired by my childhood experiences instead.

My current focus is to get a literary agent. It’s a daunting effort. I’ve been told that very few query letters eventually lead to publication. If I’m not successful in obtaining an agent or publisher, then I’ll self-publish. I’ve worked with professional editors and taken part in many writers’ conferences, workshops, and critique groups. I’ve used anonymous beta readers through a professional focus group who critiqued and rated my novel. The representative of the focus group said my novel received one of the highest scores they’ve seen. Besides that focus group, I’ve had well over 100 people read my entire manuscript. Frequently, when finished, readers want their family and friends to read it. Whether traditionally published or self-published, I will vigorously market MEMORIES OF MK-UTLRA.

To that end, I’ve just launched a website to promote my writing, short story publications, healing articles, interviews, and my progress toward publishing MEMORIES OF MK-ULTRA.

If you’re interested in being notified of the novel’s publication or have a question, please send me a note on my contact page at

billyarborough.com

The link below is to the original December 2019 article published in The Diablo Gazette Magazine

http://www.diablogazette.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Diablo-Gazette-Digi_DEC19-1.pdf

In the past four issues of the Diablo Gazette, Bill Yarborough of Clayton recalled his shocking time as a young child, age four, in what he concluded was the CIA’s notorious MK-Ultra program; an experience he endured with his brother and sister. MK-Ultra was a secret mind-control program operated by the CIA in the 1950s. In the previous articles, Bill discussed how journalistic and governmental investigations exposed MK-Ultra, the manner in which his own repressed memories arose, and how writing about these incidents had a therapeutic impact. He has written a novel inspired by his experiences for which he is seeking publication.

Due to his extensive healing journey Bill has been able to live a successful life working in the financial industry and as president of two nonprofits. As the New Year brings about resolutions and hope for a better life, Bill shares his healing experiences that may also be helpful to others:

With my therapists I initially focused on the repressed MK-Ultra memories that I had recalled. We then worked on techniques to help free me of the anxieties and fears plaguing my life. Here are some approaches I found particularly helpful.

One of them is  Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) . Many people are uncomfortable speaking in public, but my fear of speaking in group meetings, particularly on controversial topics and in the presence of authority figures was extreme and made it hard to speak up. My boss at the time pointed out that this shortcoming was a significant hindrance to my career.

So my therapist suggested I learn to use EFT to tackle the problem. EFT is based on Chinese acupressure and involves tapping on a set of energy meridians to relieve emotional and physical issues. I used EFT before tense meetings, and after a year passed, my boss said I now articulated my opinions better than anyone else on his team. EFT is an easy method to learn, and there are many sites on the internet that demonstrate its use.

Another technique I found useful is a form of hypnotherapy . Due to my childhood MK-Ultra traumas, I suffered from a significant fear of authority figures. In hypnotherapy sessions with my therapist we revisited some of those terrifying experiences where I was allowed to let out my fear and fury, offer forgiveness, then re-invent those experiences as if they happened in a different and better way.

After I retired, I wanted to learn more about healing techniques and enrolled in a training program to become a Certified Hypnotherapist and EFT Practitioner. The participation was therapeutic in itself, but I also witnessed how hypnotherapy can help people deal with all forms of addiction, such as overeating or smoking. And I learned how self-hypnosis could place you into a relaxed state to better address and find solutions to difficult issues.

Another tool I found helpful and fun is sand play . You let your heart guide you to pick out items from an array of figurines, models, stones, and other articles and place them in a sand tray to tell a story. Often the story can help you make connections you might not otherwise see. It is great for children—and the wounded child within you.

Of course, we are all unique individuals and the effectiveness of different healing techniques can vary from person to person, so there are many other helpful tools like EMDR, NLP, Reiki, journaling, etc.

A discovery I made on my healing journey is that often there is a resistance to doing healing work, even when we believe it can be useful. My first therapist warned me of that. At some level, I knew I might change for the better if I healed. But a part of me was attached to the way I was. It was familiar territory. I knew how to react conditioned as I was. And to enter the unknown can be scary, even if it’s better.

Several things helped me break through that resistance. When the pain of my current circumstances grew so great, it out weighed my fears of change. And when I did my work, I obtained glimpses into how much better I felt as I healed, which created a powerful motivation.

Which brings me to the key:  persistence and force of habit . Early in my healing journey, when a healing modality did not result in an immediate improvement, I abandoned it. However, I came to realize that’s a bit like going to the gym and working out once, then quitting because you didn’t lose weight.

Last but not least, the help of a  professional practitioner  is invaluable. I know that costs money, but teaching practitioners often have interns who charge minimal amounts to work with their clients using multiple healing modalities. If you have any questions, please reach out to me at my website contact page at

The January Diablo Gazette issue can be found at the link below; this article appears on page 13.

Diablo Gazette – January 2020 Issue

MBS221 – Memories of MK-ULTRA with Bill Yarborough · Matt Brown Show (spotify.com)

Hit the link below for the full review and article.

Inside the Mind of Bill Yarborough: Exploring Memories of MK-ULTRA

In the world of literature, few novels manage to intertwine psychological intrigue, historical depth, and metaphysical musings as seamlessly as Bill Yarborough’s Memories of MK-ULTRA: A Journey of Discovery: From Darkness to Deliverance. Based on the haunting realities of the CIA’s MK-ULTRA program, Yarborough takes readers on a chilling and redemptive journey through the lives …